God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
