Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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