i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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