It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
