It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
