i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
