"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
