i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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