Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
