I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
