NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
