____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
