Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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