I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
