new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's just like the Real World with babies
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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