I queefed so loud it echoed.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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