Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
