Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
