If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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