This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
