I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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