Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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