After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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