i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
