She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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