Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize