Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
