last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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