sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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