And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im six kinds of drunk right now
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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