Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
