white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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