Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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