just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize