I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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