I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
