I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
