you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
