We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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