Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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