she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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