You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
