My friends, they love my intelligence
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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