i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
