I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
