dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
