So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
