Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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