the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
