he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
