Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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