We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
