Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
