I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm too high and old for this...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You ruined the universe
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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