It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
