not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
