I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
