did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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