Its about making memories worth repressing
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
