Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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