I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
