Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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