I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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